Officially toddling

It's official, we have a toddler.  Heaven help us.  While I have failed to adequately capture the latest feature on camera - let it be known that we are now stomping around.  Despite not being entirely proficient at the whole walking bit, it has seemingly not stopped us from trying to climb our way into, and out of many things.  This afternoon when daddy put down a wash basket filled with dive gear, Luka proceeded to climb into, on top of, and over the entire heap.  Then when he noticed Gus (the cat) on the dining table, he figured that if he steps on the cross bar of the chair, he gets an extra 4 inches of lift to carefully annoy the cat on the table.

For the purpose of practicing the stomping, mommy purchased a nifty pair of red Crocs sandals (the only size available in giant toddler in Bali) to which we apparently still need to be accustomed to...

Will try and capture and share evidence of the latest phenomenon.

Waning into weaning

While I am not yet quite ready to admit it, and my stubborn nature will insist I continue to try and reach the arbitrary goal of "1 year" which I set out for myself, I digress - it appears we may be inadvertently waning into a state of weaning.  The Oxford Dictionary defines wean as

"accustom (someone) to managing without something to which they have become accustomed to"

while Wiki is more specific in describing the process of weaning as:

the process of introducing a mammal infant to what will be its adult diet and withdrawing the supply of its mother's milk

Sound pretty harsh eh?  Well, yeah - and pretty sad too, considering where we started all those months ago.  Hours and hours of practicing, focus, trying, bleeding, crying and more trying.  Then we settled into a nice hum breastfeeding bliss where the feeder and feedie were generally on the same page, albeit the feedie could be somewhat demanding from time to time (the whole point in demand-breastfed I hear you say, so touche).

Well, that was then, and now is now, and now more closely resembles a mid-air refueling of a very antsy F16 in the middle of a dogfight ...

Breastfeeding an eight month old boy, nothing

more than a mere 'refueling' for more jumping!

Gone are the days of blissful breastfeeding, like a snuggly momma dog with her delighted pup...

...no, these days, despite having only one suckling, with only one tooth, I definitely resemble this poor momma dog more closely...

I know, it could have something to do with the fact that our feedie has turned into a bit of a foodie and loves all things fish, chicken, beef, broccoli, spinach, breadsticks, cottage cheese, gosh - you name it, he'll probably eat it (including chili, garlic, onion, curry...) but when I rush home clear across town to make it for the lunch-time feed - I expect at least, well, a bit of a feed - instead, Luka thinks it is a swell idea for mommy to come home to play and jump around with him.  Which, I must admit, in the grand scheme of lunch hour dates, is not all that bad.  

But boy oh boy, I will miss the whole "but I'm breastfeeding" excuse for that last piece of chocolate...

So, while I'm not quite ready to give it up yet, the signs are there that our little man is moving on to greener (and spicier) pastures. 

Weight Watchers - A six for our six

After a sluggish performance on the scales recently with all levels of stress that goes with it - I am thrilled to report that our little man finally tipped the scales at 6.04kg (12.25lbs) on Monday!  And this just in time for his six month birthday tomorrow!  The poor nurses at the Sunvalley Pharmacy clinic had actually stopped charging me for his weigh-ins, but I was happy to pay the R30 on Friday (and yes, I know that weight should be taken over a long-term period to see an overall trend and not to be watched daily due to fluctuations - but when your ex-prem has a negative weight gain over 12 days, that's a tough call).

The recent gains is slightly on the high side (as in 500g/1 lbs) in 11 days (45g/1.5oz) per day - or roughly the equivalent of 1 pint of beer (since we are on bottles this week), so we will be watching and adjusting accordingly.

Relief does not begin to describe the feeling - off to the pediatrician on Friday for his last synergis shot before our departure on Tuesday.

New favorite thing, the big T!

Step 1: Approach mouth with thumb

 As far as cool discoveries go for someone that is supposed to be two weeks old this week - the big T - for THUMB ranks right up there!  We watched with great amusement as Luka practiced finding and sucking on his very own thumb.  Watching the concentration provided quite the entertaining afternoon for us....

Step 2:  Insert into this thing they call mouth

Step 3: Suck away!

Finally, the very special day...

Last photo in the nursery before walking out the door,
baby in hand.

As we sit here watching the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton, I am reminded fondly of one of my most poignant childhood memories.  The wedding of Prince Charles to then 20-year old Diana Spencer in July of 1981 remains vividly etched in my mind.  I was four years old. My mom took myself and my infant sister to watch the ceremony on my grandmothers tiny black-and-white television in her brick house with the red front stoep in the Johannesburg suburb of Boksburg.  It was a frigid day in Johannesburg, and I slipped in a puddle of water on the polished stoep then spent the entire ceremony next to an old asbestos (ugh!) heater draped in a tiny bath towel.

Walking out of the nursery for the last time we felt
almost awkward, like we were doing something illegal...
(photo: Nurse Jools)

Today, three months (to the day) short of exactly thirty years later, will in turn become one of my most poignant adult memories, this time however, not for the matrimony of a young prince to a beautiful commoner and future queen of England, but rather, as the day Chris and I brought our own little prince, our young Luka home from hospital.

After spending the first 38 days of his life in the Special Care Nursery at the Royal Darwin Hospital in northern Australia, Luka literally saw the light (and felt the wind, and the sun) on his young skin for the first time today.  Born nearly ten weeks early, he has fought and exceeded our every expectation as he is released from hospital a mere 5 weeks 3 days later, at the young age of 36 weeks and 1 day gestation.

The magic number that secured
our release - a gain of 65g
last night!

He has taught us more in five weeks than our combined educations multiple universities has, but most of all, he has taught us humility, perseverance, and the importance of a fighting spirit.  As we watch the spectacle of the Royal Wedding unfold on television, we wonder what Luka's life will hold for him, and for us.

There are so many people to thank for the support, love, care and prayers over the past six weeks, we will attempt to recognize you all in the coming days and weeks as our new life takes shape as a family.

God bless Luka (and the Queen too)

Walking towards the elevator on the 6th floor
 (photo: Nurse Jools) 

Still a long way from Cape Town, but at least we
are all together now...

Taking Luka back from the hospital

Leaving the Special Care Nursery

Leaving our corner spot in the Special Care Nursery
on Day 37

One of the Paediatricians shows Susan what to listen for
during the examination to determine if Luka is strong
enough to leave the nursery

As with so many steps along the way, it is really hard to explain the feeling when you are about to leave the Special Care Nursery, with your baby, for the first time.  Although we only migrated across the hallway to the Maternity Ward (known here simply as "6A") the psychology of packing up the stacks of preemie books, granola bars, tiny nappies, water bottles, gift teddies, deflated balloons still pasted to the wall, is once again - indescribable.  An odd mix of emotions run over you yet again.  "Are we ready?", "what if he doesn't eat well tonight and they bring him back here", "why is this taking so long?", "why isn't anybody saying 'goodbye' to us?"...to the empathy that washes over you as you bid your neighboring mom and her battling little breastfeeder farewell.

Wrapped in blankets in the freezing ward room, Susan and
Luka are at it to ensure sufficient progress 

The reality is that this day sneaks up on you almost as much as the birth does.  Just when you have the system all figured out, and you reach the point where you think you cannot stare out the same window at the same patch of the same town any longer - you are ushered one step closer to the door.  And so it was that at 13:30 on April 28, 2011 - Chris, Luka and I loaded up his cot and departed the Special Care Nursery for our overnight test known as 'rooming in'.  Essentially a controlled independence (to quote Stacy again) to ensure that mom can read the preemie's cues for feeding times, and that the baby is strong enough to take his feeds from the breast instead of the tube.  A required weigh-in will determine whether the preemie has gained (or not lost) sufficient weight to proceed with the experiment, or if he is not yet ready.

Bacon and banana pizza with good mozzarella....aaaah

As for our first rooming-in night, what a relief not to have to leave him behind.  Those of you who know me well know that I have a certain aversion for going to the doctor, and in particular for hospitals - I assure you, I have never been as thrilled to book myself in to hospital as last night, and promptly asked the nurse in the nursery where I would get another bracelet! (I did).  Chris moved us over here, then ran to the mall for some sushi for lunch.  Here we spent the afternoon cuddling, reading and blogging.  Chris returned later with home-made pizza and sparkling water (though I am sure the stewed meat-surprise with green jelly and custard pudding and a side of sliced white Wonderbread and margarine was delightful).

Way past the 8pm cut-off for visitors, Chris quietly changed Luka's nappy, and then dressed him as warm as possible to protect him from the frigid temperature in this room.  I changed into what little warm clothes Chris managed to scavenge for me at home.  We said our nightly prayer for Luka, and then poor Chris had to leave both of us behind.  It was really quite emotional as he said this was the second hardest night to have to leave the hospital.

Left behind, but right next to Luka for the first
night together

I admit that I was a little nervous, knowing that Luka had to prove himself overnight that he can feed on his own.  Considering he hadn't been feeding that well during the day what with the brain and eye examinations...I was a bit concerned.  Add to that the normal motherly fear of not 'hearing the baby' wake or heaven forbid stop breathing...it made me wonder, how did my profoundly deaf mother survive those long nights waiting outside my bedroom door, constantly checking with her hand over my mouth to ensure that I was still breathing.

Well, it is 07:30 now, we made it through the night with four good feeds in the last twelve hours. Chris is on the way over to the hospital now (hopefully with emergency coffee!) then we plan on weighing him together at the nursery...I guess the proof will be in the pudding when we put the little chubber on the scale.

Fingers crossed.

Luka and the light...at the end of the tunnel

Well, just as well I reminisced about the institutional syndrome yesterday as it seems that, just like that, out of the blue - our institutional period might be coming to a rapid close...

At 08:00 this morning when we arrived at the hospital, what happened but the unthinkable??

Luka gets his feeding tube removed!

Luka's feeding tube was removed!!

Mom and Luka after this amazing milestone for both of us

The emotion that washes over you when they remove that tube, and you know it is not to 'change' it, or because he yanked it out again, but rather (hopefully) for the last time, is indescribable.  To see his precious little face without the tape covering the whole cheek is overwhelming and humbling at the same time. I couldn't help but think of all the hard work and perseverance it took on his part to keep trying with the breastfeeding, despite his young age.

Chris pushes Luka out of the Special  Care Nursery
for the first time

In addition to his tube removal, this morning Luka also had his first 'field trip' outside the Nursery.  We got to take him down the elevator to the x-ray department for his last cranial ultrasound, which came back normal. At the moment, he is lying on his daddy's chest in the same chair, in the same corner of the nursery, waiting for the ophthalmologist to do what would be the final screening before we can move into the ward together.
  
I explained that Luka had been on 'demand' feeding during the day for the past two days - that is when he has to feed by himself (breast/bottle) during the day, with gavage (tube) feedings only at night when I am not here. If he can prove himself by gaining weight after a few days, they usually consider the baby and mom 'rooming-in' together for a few nights to see whether he can continue to gain weight if purely on breastfeeding, kind of like a breastfeeding sleepover party.  The first day of 'demand' feeding, Luka stayed constant on his weight, so while he didn't gain anything, more importantly, he didn't lose anything.  Then yesterday, our little man drank himself a whole 40g heavier!  Thus, the good news today that we are ready to 'room in'!

Luka having his final cranial ultrasound to ensure there
are no bleeds on the brain

We are cautiously optimistic, and bearing in mind that he is young to be doing this (only 36 weeks gestation today), but we are positive that he and I can figure out this overnight feeding bit like we have everything else. Since his cues for hunger and desire to feed remain very subtle (i.e., he does not yet fuss or cry) I am sure I will be sitting up most of the night watching him closely for any of these...but, in a word, we are CLOSE!

Watch this space...  

Luka turns 4 Weeks!

In keeping with the tradition of celebrating each small milestone Luka achieve, (and to some small degree to keep up the nurse bribery scheme we have going) we baked a 4-week birthday cake for our boy.  It is hard to believe that we have been 'parents' for four weeks, albeit in a completely controlled environment that sees us leave the old hospital building empty-handed at the end of every long day.  We are nonetheless aware that this little person is from here on out, completely dependent on us, and we hope that we can live up to his expectations and needs.

Happy birthday little man!  Mommy promises to stop the 'Disco' themed cakes as soon as I run out of blue and green sprinkles!

19 April 2011 - Luka celebrates 4 weeks in style with his daddy
and his Ouma 

For the event, we chose a deliciously moist and easy to make Carrot Cake. Despite the recipe calling for a 'sheet cake' the lack of a 9x13 inch baking dish made us revert to our round cake pan (yes we bought a cake pan).  Our schizophrenic oven meant we baked it for about 1.5 hours instead of the 40 minutes in the recipe... so all the power to you to figure out the right baking time. 

Luka's First Graduation!

 

Luka's last 'cares' in the Special Care Nursery in his
big boy bed

To mix things up a bit, Chris took the morning shift, leaving Susan to run a few errands.  These included picking up a bag of stuff from Dili that a willing 'mule' carried on the flight this morning, and also getting a printer and scanner to facilitate the bureaucratic part of birthing a dual-citizen in a third country (more on that later).  Imagine the shock when Susan returned to the nursery only to find the isolette (like an incubator) gone!  Instead of the familiar box with holes for the hands and arms, there was a regular nursing cot (looks like a clear plastic baby bath).  After containing my excitement, the nurse informed us that not only did Luka shed his isolette, but that he would in fact graduate from the 'Special Car Nursery' (one step down from the NICU) to the 'General Nursery' today.

View of the General Nursery

Of course this meant that he is now able to regulate his own body temperature (a big requirement around here), and that he is not only stable enough, but also progressing well on other fronts.  Funny thing is that news such as this is met with mixed emotions from parents.  While we are clearly proud of him for excelling and exceeding all expectations for a 30-weeker, now one week old - it is also accompanied by some reservations such as 'is he ready?', 'will he receive the same level of care?' and other questions.  Our Preemie book talks about this, and ensures all parents of preemies, that yes, they are ready to move on, and yes, they will receive the care that they need, which is understandably slightly less than another infant who still battles to hold feeds down and cannot yet maintain his body temperature.

Our new digs.

As if this was not good enough news for one day, we also received his SBR (jaundice test) numbers, and they have gone down by themselves since the last test, without the use of lights.  This indicates that his liver is functioning well enough to be flushing the last of this out of his system through all of those healthy bowel movements we get to clean between feeds.

Luka actively sucking his thumb
during diaper change this morning

We are incredibly grateful for this progress, but acutely aware that it is still a long 4-6 weeks that await us with Luka bound to the hospital until he is closer to his due date (end of May).