When blue is bad

Had pretty much the most terrifying experience with Luka since his regular apneas and other arrests in the NICU seven months ago.  While feeding him his mushed carrots and pumpkin this afternoon (which, similar to the breastfeeding these days, pretty much resemble an MMA match) he suddenly choked.  Now obviously any new parent has the overwhelming fear that you will tumble down the steps while carrying your child and smash his head very graphically into the wall, or you will accidentally let your car drop off the particularly wobbly bit of embankment next to the big bazaar in town (okay, only for those living in third-world cities, but still), and of course, the fear of having to do CPR on your child.  Well, as I watched Luka choke, then cough, then turn a bright red, followed by purple'ish/blue today - I immediately kicked into fight/flight/freeze (and fortunately did not freeze).  I yanked him swiftly out of his Baby Bjorn rocker chair where he was happily munching away a second ago, and in one swell swoop, flipped him onto his stomach, lying face down on my left hand and started banging his back with the flat of my right hand.  Of course I am leaning over trying to watch his face for a reaction, and god willing a piece of food to come flying out followed by a relieved hack, cough and a cry - but none came - instead, in panic, not knowing exactly what I would do next if I didn't get him to breathe again, I flipped him up, and grabbed him around a waist and performed my best interpretation of a Heimlich maneuver.  Of course, through all this, Chris was not home - and I remember, in the seconds (that felt like hours) of manipulating Luka's airways, I briefly thought about calling Chris - what I would say to my husband carelessly shopping for Australian-style plugs and fruit, I am not sure - but it seemed like a good thought to have.

The whole ordeal came to an end when Chris walked through the door, me with Luka still face-down, looking up at him saying 'he's not BREATHING!' - he rushed over, I handed Luka to him, who was still a little choked up, but he let out a big cry and Chris just tried to convince me that 'if he's crying, he's fine' and telling me how great I did...

...let me tell you...worst experience EVER.

In hindsight, my Emergency First Responder (EFR) training definitely kicked in as I instinctively grabbed him, flipped him over and started smacking him in the right manner - but I know in Australia they don't recommend or teach the Heimlich for infants anymore, so of  course I was terrified that I had somehow done any damage to him in doing so...happy to report though that he is fine.  Mommy's nerves notwithstanding.  I am sure this is not the last time I'll get a scare, I mean, he hasn't even started riding a bike yet, but holy cow. If you've ever watched your little one turn blue, you'll know what I'm talking about - and if you haven't, count yourself lucky.