Momeraderie

10 September 2011 - After nearly six months since our birth,
Chris and I share our experience with HypnoBirthing

With our birth coach Kim Young of
Beautifully Born

Chris and I attended a HypnoBirthing info session by our beloved birth coach, Kim Young (Beautifully Born) on Saturday.  Kim asked whether we would share our story of how HypnoBirthing helped us when our birthplan went awry.  Revisiting the events that started on 20 March and culminated in Luka on the 22nd were both an emotional and empowering affair,  it led me to finally finish the post of how it actually all happened that we ended up in Darwin on that fateful Monday afternoon... You can read Part II of how it all transpired here.

After the talk I met  'Ben's mom' who came up to introduce herself by saying "I hope this does not make me sound like a stalker, but I have been following your blog since April".  She had her son 4 weeks premature, and just like us, was overwhelmed with the emotions and having to leave your precious baby behind in hospital day after day.  She explained how much the blog and my sharing of my experience meant to her, often prompting her to ask "what would Luka's mom do" when faced with a particular challenge.

This encounter builds on my own inspiration that I drew from hosting fellow new moms here for a brunch last weekend and from engaging with other sleep-deprived mommies at various gatherings over the past week.  I realized this week just how CRUCIAL it is to have a support network that includes other moms who know what you are going through.

I don't think that Ben's mom so much needed to get any answers from me, not that I really have any anyway, rather just knowing that there is someone out there going through a similar experience is often all it takes.  So it came as a surprise to me this week  that even second-time moms don't have themselves as together as they would like.  It turns out that we ALL believe we are not doing a good job, that surely bub should be sleeping/feeding/rolling better by now, and that we will never get him weaned on the bottle and why can't I just seem to keep up with work/correspondence/my hobby?

Well, the lesson for me this week was that if you have/will have a baby - surround yourself with other new moms. You will be amazed to know that what you are going through is not unique, nor indicative of bad mothering, and that perhaps, just perhaps, you're not doing all as bad as you think.  In this way I have pit enormous, incalculable strength from my support group, most notably Stacy, niggie, Katie and others - and if I can in turn mean something to someone, be it personally or through my writing...then this is all a big circle of momeraderie karma.

If you are a new mom reading this, get up, find a mommy-and-baby group (seriously, trust me it was not my thing either) and go compare notes with someone else, you might be pleasently surprised.